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From Friction to Function
A Guide to Managing difficult people at work
Facing daily challenges with difficult colleagues at work? Discover effective strategies to differentiate and manage temporary versus persistent negative behaviors. Learn how to foster a positive work environment through expert insights and practical steps, ensuring you contribute positively and avoid becoming part of the problem.
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AUMHUM Staff
8 mins read · Apr 12, 2024
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In any workplace, dealing with challenging personalities is not just a necessity—it's an art. Understanding the nuances between temporary frustrations and inherently difficult behaviors is essential for fostering a healthy professional environment. This guide provides evidence-based strategies and real-world insights to help you navigate these complexities effectively.


Temporary Difficult Person:

Definition: Occurs when an individual exhibits negative behaviors in response to specific, often temporary, external pressures like stress, tight deadlines, or personal issues.


Certified Difficult Person:

Definition: A person who consistently engages in harmful behavior that forms a clear pattern over time, independent of external situations.


The True Measure of Character: Diego Rodriguez of IDEO advocates for organizations to create robust methods to identify negative behaviors in the workplace. This involves recognizing individuals who consistently make others feel inferior, particularly those with less power. A significant indicator of character is how someone treats individuals of lower status compared to those of higher status. The narrative also highlights a personal anecdote involving a Stanford faculty's shift in behavior after discovering a student's influential background, illustrating the real-world application of assessing true character through actions. Such evaluations encourage the cultivation of environments where respect and decency prevail, as exemplified by a former student's experience that possibly influenced his success in obtaining a prestigious scholarship. This reinforces the value of kindness and integrity in personal and professional settings.


Understanding Difficult Behaviors at Work

The workplace is like a small world, filled with various personalities. You might have seen colleagues who often overshadow others or resist new ideas. Such behaviors usually stem from deeper issues, like past traumas or insecurities, which go beyond their professional lives.

Research shows that 'difficult' behaviors may arise from unmet needs or unresolved personal issues. For instance, someone who always takes credit for others' work might feel insecure or have been undervalued in the past. Similarly, resistance to change could be linked to fear of the unknown or bad experiences with change in the past.

Understanding these underlying causes helps us respond more empathetically. By genuinely trying to understand where they are coming from, we can start conversations that might lead to positive changes, making the workplace better for everyone. This approach doesn't just help in resolving conflicts but also makes us more patient and compassionate colleagues.

The Cost of Difficult People in Workplaces

High Turnover and Recruitment Costs:

Difficult behaviors significantly impact organizational health through increased turnover and recruitment challenges. For instance, under the reign of a difficult leader like Linda Wachner, Warnaco experienced extraordinarily high turnover rates, leading to constant recruitment cycles. This not only disrupts continuity but also inflates operational costs as frequent replacements and training for new hires become a recurring expense, draining resources and reducing overall organizational efficiency.


Legal and Reputation Risks:

Organizations harboring difficult individuals face heightened legal risks and potential damage to their reputation. An example is the case involving the high-ranking government official at the Supreme Court researcher's workplace, where persistent negative behavior led to significant legal and reputation costs. Such environments can lead to lawsuits related to harassment or a hostile work environment, compounding financial liabilities and damaging public perceptions, which can deter potential talent and partnerships.


How can you Deal with Difficult People at the Workplace

Guiding workplace dynamics effectively is crucial, especially when dealing with difficult colleagues. The strategies below provide a guide on handling both "temporary difficult people" and "certified difficult people," as well as tips on self-reflection to ensure you do not become difficult yourself.

Dealing with Temporary Difficult People
  • Empathy and Understanding:
    • Approach: Begin by showing empathy. Recognize that temporary difficult behavior is often a result of external pressures.
    • Action: Engage in a private, supportive conversation. Ask about their well-being and listen actively.
  • Provide Support:
    • Approach: Offer help or resources that could alleviate their stress.
    • Action: Suggest practical support, like adjusting workloads or deadlines temporarily, or providing access to professional help if needed.
  • Encourage Open Communication:
    • Approach: Maintain open lines of communication. Let them know they can talk to you about what’s bothering them.
    • Action: Regular check-ins can preemptively address stressors before they lead to difficult behavior.

Dealing with Certified Difficult People
  • Set Clear Boundaries:
    • Approach: It's important to establish and communicate your boundaries.
    • Action: Politely, but firmly, inform them when their behavior is affecting your work or well-being.
  • Document Interactions:
    • Approach: Keep a record of interactions that you find inappropriate or harmful.
    • Action: Document dates, times, and details of conversations or incidents, maintaining emails or notes that could be used for official reports if necessary.
  • Seek Formal Resolutions:
    • Approach: If personal handling fails, it may be necessary to follow formal channels.
    • Action: Report the behavior to HR or a trusted supervisor with your documentation. Use organizational policies to guide these actions.
  • Professional Distance:
    • Approach: Sometimes, maintaining professional distance is necessary to protect your own mental health.
    • Action: Limit your interaction to professional necessities and avoid unnecessary personal engagement.

Self-Reflection: Avoiding Becoming a Difficult Person Yourself
  • Self-Awareness:
    • Approach: Regularly reflect on your own behavior and how it affects others.
    • Action: Seek feedback from trusted colleagues or supervisors about your interactions and openness to other’s ideas.
  • Manage Stress Effectively:
    • Approach: Understand your stress triggers and adopt healthy coping mechanisms.
    • Action: Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, hobbies, or meditation, and ensure a work-life balance.
  • Continuous Personal Development:
    • Approach: Commit to personal growth and improvement in professional interactions.
    • Action: Attend workshops on communication, conflict resolution, or emotional intelligence to enhance your interpersonal skills.
  • Promote a Positive Workplace Culture:
    • Approach: Be a role model for positive behavior in the workplace.
    • Action: Encourage a supportive, respectful, and inclusive environment. Celebrate team successes and contribute to a collaborative atmosphere.


In the diverse ecosystem of the workplace, dealing with difficult colleagues is an inevitable challenge that requires strategic handling and personal introspection. This article has explored effective methods to manage both temporary and certified difficult individuals, highlighting the importance of empathy, support, and clear communication for temporary difficulties, setting boundaries, documenting interactions, and seeking formal resolutions for more persistent issues.


Moreover, the discussion extends to self-awareness and personal development, emphasizing the importance of reflecting on one's behavior to avoid becoming a difficult colleague oneself. By managing stress effectively, engaging in continuous learning, and fostering a positive workplace culture, individuals can significantly enhance their professional interactions and contribute to a more supportive environment.


There is hope and strength in these strategies. Armed with the right approaches, everyone has the power to not only effectively handle difficult people at work but also ensure they do not mirror such behaviors. Let this be a call to action for each of us to embody the change we wish to see in our workplaces, creating environments where respect, professionalism, and collaboration prevail. Remember, you have the strength to strategically manage difficult situations and the insight to never become part of the problem. Together, we can build a healthier, more productive workplace culture.

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